


Moody Dark-Haired Painters

by roamingaustenites



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: "I'll stick with the loser" Rey, Alternate Universe - High School, Ben "I'll punch you if talk smack about Rey" Solo, Ben is oblivious, F/M, Fluff, Matchmaker Luke, Moody Artists, Mostly I Just Want to See Them Happy, Rey can't deal with crushes, Snoke is a complete jerkface, i have no idea what i am doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-09-15 17:04:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9247184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roamingaustenites/pseuds/roamingaustenites
Summary: Ben is a sick artist and Rey has a little crush and can't deal with it right now.





	1. Art Class

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time doing something like this, ever. We'll see how it goes!

Ben Solo.

 

Ben FREAKING Solo was in her FREAKING art class. Rey was furious. Why? Because Ben Solo (aka KYLO REN) was the boy genius art maniac that sold his first stupid painting at age 12 and continued on his way to stardom. It felt like Hannah Montana. Ben thought no one knew he was Kylo Ren, when in all actuality, everyone knew. Even Mitaka knew and he had to personally have someone hold his hands through freaking life before he could figure anything out.

 

Rey was furious because he was a genius. His art, albeit a bit dark, spoke to her on a spiritual level. She was angry because she wanted him to help her become better, but she was also afraid. He was an 18 year old, moody artist, with long black hair and an even darker humor.

 

Rey slumped lower in her chair, only daring to glance up at him out of the corner of her eye. She refused to acknowledge him. If she did, she would blush and feel like a complete idiot and not be able to get anything done in this class period. Though if she were honest with herself, which she rarely was, her hopes of being productive in this class significantly dropped the moment Ben Solo walked through those doors.

 

Ben looked around and started walking towards the front, which just so happened to be where Rey was situated. Rey’s inner monologue consisted of several pitches of continuous screaming as she noticed Ben walking near her table. The room that they were in was in no way spacious, but held very few students. There were ten tables strewn around the room in a haphazardous manner befitting an eccentric teacher. The five other students in the room hardly glanced at each other (this _was_ an advanced art class after all). Mr. Skywalker sat at his desk glaring at his computer willing it to work (after all, not all artists could connect with everything, much as they tried). Ben sighed and flopped down in the seat directly across from Rey. Her internal screaming halted at the sight while the rest of her bodily functions deceived her. Her heart pounded, her lungs refused to take in oxygen, her cheeks and neck flamed, her stomach took flight, her ears started ringing, and her tongue twisted. If Ben noticed her abnormal behavior, she couldn’t tell, because at that moment Mr. Skywalker decided to start his class.

 

“Hello class!” he smiled at each of his students before landing on Rey and Ben. His eyes seemed to twinkled mischievously, but Rey passed it off as her overactive imagination caused by the close proximity of Ben Solo. “Most of you are expecting a laid back class where you can practice your art of letting go and becoming one with art,” he added with dramatic hand gestures and the billowing of his large cardigan? Robe? Whatever it was, it was dramatic. “BUT! You will be sorely disappointed, because this semester we are focusing on each other. You will be assigned a partner whom you will be painting, drawing, sculpting, whatever! You will become intimately attuned to your partners features,” Mr. Skywalker’s dramatic speech concluded. “Now! For your partners!” He moved around the classroom and looked every person in the eye. He would murmur things to himself that none of the students could understand, but Mr. Skywalker apparently could. He suddenly straightened and positively beamed at his small group of students. “I figured it out! Ah, yes, it is quite perfect!” He walked up to the whiteboard before turning towards his class.

 

Rey’s breathing stopped all together. If there was anything she hated more than anticipation, that was partners, and the anticipation of waiting to find out the person she would be stuck with for the rest of the semester to become ‘intimately’ familiar with their features was slowly going to kill her. She nervously took in the other faces in the room. There was Hux, the pinched-faced redhead, who wasn’t really too bad once you got past his thirty layers of vague (and not-so-vague) dislike of everything. Poe Dameron sat in the corner proudly sweeping his tousled curls back and grinning like an idiot (who gave Rey a creepy vibe, if she were ever honest to herself). Phasma (the goddess), whose legs Rey viciously envied, was also in the room looking bored. And Ben. Perfectly moody Ben, who Rey could hardly look at in fear of losing some of her composure that she had gained back (in the deepest, darkest part of her heart she hoped that Ben would be her partner, but again she was rarely honest with herself). As if sensing her thinking about him, Ben looked up from the top of the table to look directly into her eyes. Rey flushed from head to toe, quickly looking down at her toes nervously scuffing on the ground.

 

Slowly something processed in Rey’s ringing ears, “…and Rey will be partners!” Mr. Skywalker’s voice echoed in her ears like a death toll in her mind. _Who the freaking heck is my partner!? I wasn’t paying any attention! Dang Ben and his stupid face!!_ Suddenly Ben cleared his throat, effectively looking pleased and embarrassed as heck. Rey’s wide eyes snapped to his. He looked down into her eyes, lips slightly quirking at the corner. Rey blushed again before lowering her eyes. She mentally berated herself for her stupidity.

 

“Uh, Ben?”

 

His eyebrows shot up his forehead, “Yeah?”

 

“Um, so, I wasn’t really paying attention… Uh, so, I guess what I’m trying to say is, well, um, do you, you know, know who my, um, partner is?” Rey asked to her feet, refusing to meet Ben’s eyes.

 

Ben’s mouth softened to a small smile, “Well, if I heard right then that’d be me.”

 

Rey’s heart stopped in her chest, before picking up in double time. Her eyes were wide like a deer in headlights. Ben’s small smiled faded and a looked of concern came onto his expressive face, “Rey? Are you alright?”

 

Rey smiled weakly, “O-of course! Yup, perfectly fine!” _Yeah, perfectly fine…_

***

 

Three weeks. THREE WEEKS had passed and Rey was going to die. She physically was going to die. She had half a notebook full of Ben. Ben’s eyes, Ben’s hands, Ben’s nose, and Ben’s hair, that long, luxurious, dark mane of his. She had drawn, sketched, and painted him from the bottom up.   And she was going to die. She could not look him in the eye outside of the brief glances she gave him to fully perfect the piece she was working on.

 

Ben wasn’t faring much better. Every time they would make eye contact, his pale cheeks lightly pinked before quickly looking away. She only caught glimpses of his artwork, and she never showed him hers. He kept to his side of the table they had claimed as theirs. Mr. Skywalker stood in front of the class when Rey walked in for the day. Ben was already at their table smiling softly at the surface of the table. Mr. Skywalker smiled at Rey as she sat down right before the bell rang. At the screech of her chair being pulled back, Ben looked up at her and lightly blushed before smiling down at the table again.

 

“Everyone! Please calm down!” the light noise in the classroom died down, “Now that you’ve sketched your partner enough, here comes the tricky part. Now you have to draw them DOING something. Whatever you think about this person. I want your project to BLEED emotion. I want to feel what you feel when you interact with this person in your art. Now! Time to work!” Mr. Skywalker beamed at his class before landing on a blushing Ben and an uncomfortable Rey. His blue eyes sparkled with amusement.

 

Rey was frozen with shock. Bleed with emotion? What the heck was that supposed to mean? Her face paled. The emotions she felt towards Ben were private. She had no desire whatsoever to share those with the rest of the class. They were too tender and too confusing to put into one piece of art. Her mouth set into a thin line. She would just have to talk to Mr. Skywalker about it personally.

 

***

 

Class was let out for day. Rey stayed behind much to the confusion of Ben. But he just shrugged and walked out the door, Rey’s eyes on his back the entire time. As soon as he left the room, Rey jumped up to intercept Mr. Skywalker.

 

“Mr. Skywalker! Mr. Skywalker! Please, I need to talk to you,” Rey desperately called out to Mr. Skywalker’s retreating back.

 

Mr. Skywalker good-naturedly turned around and smiled at Rey, “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

 

“Um, yeah. Mr. Skywalker. This assignment… I don’t know how I… I don’t think I can do it the way you want me too.” She wrung her hands nervously.

 

“What do you mean? And please, call me Luke,” he smiled politely down at the nervous girl.

 

“Well,” Rey started to tug at the hem of her shirt nervously, “Luke, you, um, you said that you wanted our art to show emotion, and, well, I am not sure I can do that, err, I don’t know how to do that.” She kept her eyes downcast and mumbled the end of her little rant.

 

Luke just smiled at her, “That’s the point of art, Rey, child. To push us to things we haven’t accomplished before, to stretch our abilities and imaginations!” He frowned at her, “Would you do something for me, Rey?”

 

Rey looked up into Luke’s open, honest eyes, “Of course, Mr. Sky- I mean, Luke,” she quickly looked down at her feet again.

 

“I partnered you up with Ben for a reason, you know,” Rey looked up at him, “He’s a brilliant artist, but he has a hard time talking to people. Maybe if you talked to him, he could help you perfect your art, and maybe he could open up to someone other than a notebook,” Luke winked at her, smiled, and walked away leaving Rey a little breathless and a tiny bit hopeful.

 

***

 

Rey was in the classroom before Ben today for the first time since the first day. She was nervous, but determined. She needed a teacher and he was the best, and her partner. She could do this. She HAD to do this. She took several deep breaths before calming her frayed nerves slightly. She stared straight ahead not daring to watch the door for Ben’s appearance. If she did, she was worried that she would lose her nerve and not ask him. Her fingers fidgeted on the tabletop, before moving to her lap and fiddling with the hole in her jeans on her thigh. Suddenly, Ben appeared in front of her, loudly pulling out his chair. Rey stopped breathing as he was adjusting his pens and pencils after sitting. They were the only ones in the classroom, besides Luke, whose gaze was fixed on his computer screen. Rey cleared her throat. Ben’s full attention was on her in an instant. His warm chocolate eyes melted some of Rey’s anxiety.

 

“Hey Ben!” Rey squeaked.

 

“Hi,” Ben said, looking slightly startled.

 

Before she could lose her nerve, Rey quickly said, “So, um, you know how you’re like a really good artist? And this assignment is coming up and we are partners and everything? Well, I was thinking, maybe, I don’t know, you don’t have to say yes or anything, but I was wondering maybe if you could, like teach me? Cause you’re really good?”

 

“Huh?”

 

If it had been any other time, Rey would have laughed at his dumbfounded expression and articulate response, instead she anxiously laughed and stammered, “Can you, you know, teach me? Like teach me cool art crap and stuff… You know what! Whatever, forget I asked,” Rey could feel her face turn red and she quickly opened one of her notebooks to look like she was doing something other than having the most embarrassing conversation in her life, while Ben still looked like he had been struck dumb.

 

He quickly shook his head and burst out, “Of course I’ll teach you!” as soon as she had looked down.

 

Rey’s head snapped up and her eyes widened, “Really?”

 

“Yes, really! I thought I heard you wrong! A beautiful girl just told me I was a really good artist and asked me to teach her, I’m sorry, but it seemed to come from my imagination, not from your mouth,” Ben’s face turned scarlet when his words caught up to his brain. He coughed and looked at his feet.

 

“You… you think I’m beautiful?”

 

Incredibly, Ben’s face turned an even darker shade of red, “Um, yeah? I’ve been drawing you for the past month, and I would have to say that I have enjoyed myself immensely,” he locked his eyes on his shoes and mumbled, barely in her hearing range, “You have the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen…”

 

Rey’s face was on fire and her heart grew wings. If she had to name the best day of her life, this would be the day without a doubt. She giggled and Ben’s eyes met hers. She beamed at him and he returned a bashful smile.

 

“If you let me look at your drawings, I can tell you what you need to work on,” Ben mumbled shyly at her.

 

Rey could not wipe the smile off of her face as she handed over her small collection of Ben drawings. His eyes widened and he started to laugh, loudly, causing the entire room to look at them. Rey’s brow furrowed and her smile dropped.

 

“What is it?” she demanded.

 

He smirked at her, “So I take it you like my hair?”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Okay, whatever Kylo Ren.”

 

At his dumbfounded expression, Rey laughed hard enough to cause tears to roll down her cheeks. Ben looked significantly mollified by her mirth and uncomfortably shrugged his shoulders, “No one’s supposed to know about that…”

 

“Literally, everyone knows, Ben.”

 

They shared a smile, before looking at what Rey could improve. All the while, Luke beamed at the two with the pleased smile of a successful matchmaker.


	2. Snoke is a Jerkface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, the first chapter was really fluffy, but I am sorry to say the way this thing went... Let's just say it gets a little darker. Ben's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh!! I have so many ideas for this!! Thank you to everyone who asked for more!! This one's for you guys!! I appreciate everyone's support and those who read and kudoed and commented, you have made my day!!

Ever since Rey had asked him to be her teacher he couldn’t think of anything else. His mind constantly wandered back to the last time they had talked, or the last time she had smiled at him. What he wouldn’t do to keep making her smile. He was smiling stupidly to himself as he sat in the semi-full cafeteria. He sat in the corner away from everyone else. He was staring off into the distance, seeing only Rey’s eyes and wondering how best he could put the light that sparkled deep within them on paper. A noise disrupted his musings. He looked around in a panic, understanding immediately what that sound meant. He grabbed his backpack and hurried towards the exit without a backwards glance at his long forgotten food.

 

“Hey! Hey, Ben! WAIT,” the voice snarled.

 

Ben grunted and lengthened his stride. He was almost there. He was almost safe. But as most things in Ben’s life, he wasn’t getting off that easily. A thin, but surprisingly strong, hand gripped his shoulder and pulled him back. His eyes met the soulless depths of his pursuer’s eyes.

 

He growled, “What do you want, Snoke?”

 

Snoke merely smirked, his twisted, dark smirk, and started to walk around Ben. Behind Snoke, Ben could see his small gathering of goons, ready to jump to their master’s rescue if Ben tried in anyway to defend himself. Snoke eventually finished his small circle and looked up into Ben’s narrowed eyes, “I was only curious about why our good little Kylo Ren was smiling like an idiot with no one else around.”

 

Ben’s face paled. _Why can’t I have one good thing in this world that Snoke doesn’t corrupt?_ “That is none of your business, Snoke,” Ben tried to sound defiant, but came off as resigned.

 

“You see Benny-boy, anything that involves you, involves me,” he smiled with his lips, but not with his eyes, “I will find out, and I will take it from you. That _is_ what I do best, isn’t it, _Kylo Ren._ ” Before Ben could respond, Snoke turned away with his small gang following him.

 

Ben stormed off back towards his only sanctuary, the art room. Mentally shaken and slightly paranoid, he ran into the empty rooms, door left unlocked in casuse of events like this. _It always happened this way, he couldn’t stop it from happening_. He went to the cabinet in the corner, not seeing anything else, besides his goal. He tore through the papers and canvases before finding the piece he was looking for. It was dark, mostly greys and blacks. It was only partly done, but helplessness screamed from every scratch of the pencil. Pain bled through every stroke of his paintbrush. Ben’s hands shook, either from passion or fear he did not know, and buried himself in his art.

 

***

 

Lunch was over and Ben silently set down his paintbrush. The door opened and closed behind him. He did not have to look behind him to know who was there. He could hear soft footsteps and the _soosh, soosh_ of swaying fabric before stopping directly behind him. A soft sigh came over his shoulder, “Ben.”

 

Ben whipped around to face his Uncle Luke. His expression caused Luke to stop what he was going to say and instead looked back at the painting. Luke’s eyes softened, “Ben, that is a powerful painting.”

 

Like a dam bursting from its containment, Ben’s face broke and tears filled his eyes obscuring his vision, “ _Luke, please,”_ he choked out, his head falling into his hands, “ _Make him stop.”_

_“I don’t know how, Ben,”_ Luke’s face was equally angry and downcast as he took his broken, tender nephew into his arms. Ben stiffened, before relaxing into his uncle’s embrace. He had to bend nearly in half to rest his head on his uncle’s shoulders, but as soon as his head rested there, Luke stroked his hair to soothe him, just as he did when Ben was a child and his parents got into a particularly nasty fight. Silent sobs shuddered through Ben’s massive body. His hands left his face to curl around his uncle and clutch his uncle’s robe with a death grip that spoke more to the fact of his desperate, unspoken plea. _Please help me, don’t leave me, I’m scared._

 

‘ _I have you. I won’t leave you. I’m here.’_

***

 

The end of the day was finally here. He would finally see Rey, and he felt like death. His emotions over the past three hours had hardly been manageable and he had spent the class period after lunch with Luke in comfortable silence. It was not the first time he had taken refuge in his uncle’s classroom, and he had a sickening feeling it wasn’t the last either. He hunched down and curled into himself. He heard Rey pull out her chair, but he didn’t look up.

 

“Hey! What’s up?!” Rey exclaimed brightly.

 

Ben glanced up at her smiling face and tried to muster up a convincing smile. It came off more as a grimace.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Her brow furrowed as she took in his appearance.

 

He looked into her concerned eyes. “I’m fine.”

 

She narrowed her eyes at him.

 

“Honestly Rey, I am fine.”

 

She shrugged her shoulders before standing up.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Well, if you are going to teach me, I should probably be where I can see you work right? I can’t very well see you doing some fancy art stuff if I am across the table, can I?”

 

Ben could feel the tips of his ears burning, “I suppose not.”

 

“Right,” she walked around the table and sat all her stuff right next to him. Ben kept his eyes on his work in front of him, even as he was reeling from the change of pace that Rey had put into his routine. _What am I going to do? This isn’t how this class works!_ If Rey could sense his panic, she did a very good job at hiding it.

 

“Hey, Ben?”

 

His head snapped in her direction, before quickly looking down again, “Yeah?”

 

She reached out her small, slender hand to gently rest it on his sleeve, “I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you’re doing this for me,” he looked into her eyes and saw the deepest sincerity. She offered him a small smile before removing her hand to fiddle with her pencils. “So, are we going to do this or what?”

 

For the first time in a while, Ben felt his heart swell with affection. He slowly smiled and turned towards the piece Rey was working on.

 

***

 

Rey was getting better. Her lines were more precise, her colors more vibrant, and her people more realistic. Ben looked at her with pride. _I taught her how to do that. Look at how well she did her shading!_ Rey looked up at him and beamed. He smiled back before looking back down at his slightly worn out shoes with pink dusting his cheeks. Their table was haphazardly covered in paper, pencils, and paints all demanding to be used or put away. Ben had just started his piece before setting it aside to help Rey. He looked at his graphite-covered fingers and smiled again. There was nothing he would rather do then help Rey and make her smile. His uncle’s project loomed in the back of his mind, but he pushed it aside in order to see Rey succeed again and again, and rewarding him with one of her sunshine smiles.

 

Ben cleared his throat and looked into her hazel eyes, “I think this is your best work yet,” he hesitated, “In fact, I think you're better than I am.”

 

She laughed while he stood in shock. _Her laugh is beautiful. I can actually make her laugh!_ “Oh Ben! Or should I say Kylo?” she winked, joking.

 

His blood froze in his veins. _‘I will take it from you.’_ His hands started to shake. The room swayed under his feet. He stared wide-eyed at Rey before glancing over to his uncle who was deep in a conversation with Hux. _I have to get out of here. I have to get away._ Rey stopped laughing and looked into his eyes. Ben could see her pretty mouth moving, but he couldn’t hear what she was saying. He turned and he ran out the door. _Away. I have to get away, NOW._ He ran. He ran as fast as he could for as long as he could. He didn’t see anything around him, just the feeling of getting away lead his feet. He stopped when he couldn’t catch his breath. He made it outside somehow and was standing by a river. The water picked its way around several small rocks in the riverbed. Small insects were buzzing in his ears as they lazily danced on the light breeze. Trees shaded him as he sat down at the rivers edge and he could hear their leaves humming a song only they knew. His panic attack was slowly ebbing, but he knew he was still volatile at this point. Ben covered his ears and stuck his head between his knees, assuming that that would help. He took deep breaths in through his nose before releasing it slowly through his mouth. He could hear the hitch in his breath and understood he was close to tears. Ben laughed bitterly. It came out as a huff. _Hadn’t I cried enough today?!_ A branch broke behind him, and he jumped up, heart pumping, thinking that Snoke had found him again. He couldn’t see anyone with his pain-filled eyes.

 

“Who’s there?” it came out weak, and Ben hated himself for it. It had the desired effect, and a slim figure slipped out of the trees behind him.

 

“You rushed out of there pretty quick, and I wanted to make sure you were alright,” Rey wrung her hands before stepping closer to him, “You seem pretty shaken, is there anything I can do for you?”

 

Ben’s heart stopped beating. _No one, not even Luke asks me if I’m alright. No one wants to take care of me. Rey…_ He turned his back on her before she could see the tears spilling out of his eyes.

 

“Ben?” Soft footsteps made their way to him. He felt her small hand brush his shoulder blade. The soft touch made him shudder and close his eyes. “Ben?” The voice came from in front of him this time. He sighed and slowly opened his eyes to look into Rey large, compassionate eyes. Her small hands lifted up towards him and gently, oh so gently, wiped away the tears that fell silently, in continuous streams. Her sweet hazel eyes filled with tears. _Why is she crying?! Is she okay?!_

 

“Rey?” his deep voice, deeper with emotion and tears, “Why are you crying? Are you okay?”

 

At his words, a single tear escaped and ran down her smooth cheek. Ben raised a hand and caught the tear with the tip of his large finger. He silently, but carefully, erased the trail the tear had left on her skin. Rey smiled wetly up into his open, red-rimmed eyes. “Oh, Ben. What happened to you?” she choked out.

 

He froze again. _Rey can’t know that. She can’t know. I won’t tell her._ Her fingers continuously moved across his face, clearing his tears before slipping into his hair. He sighed and leaned towards her, “ _Rey...”_

_“Ben…”_

He rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Rey’s fingers gently stroking his hair. _Please help me, don’t leave me, I’m scared._

 

_‘I have you. I won’t leave you. I’m here.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the rating, cause it got darker fast... Let me know if you think it warrants the change!


	3. Fallouts and Football

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will happen to our two little awkward kids after their little episode by the river?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really meant this to be a short, fluffy fic, but plot happened... This one ended up being really long too... Rey's POV

They stood there for what seemed like hours, their heads resting on each others and Rey’s hands smoothing out Ben’s ebony locks. They hadn’t said a word, but Rey could feel Ben pulling something from her and taking comfort from it. She let him take as much as he needed. This was Ben. _Her Ben._ Her hands froze mid-stroke. _Her_ Ben? _Where had that thought come from?_ Ben frowned as he pulled away from her.

 

“Are you okay, Rey?” Thankfully he had stopped crying, but his voice was still hoarse.

 

She smiled at him dismissing her wayward thoughts, “Of course I am!” Her mood turned serious, “Are you alright, Ben?”

 

He shifted slightly away from her. “Yeah, I’ll be fine,” he spoke to his shoes.

 

She frowned, but didn’t press him. Instead, she reached out and offered him one of her hands. He stared down at it uncomprehendingly. “After crying, I always like to go get some hot chocolate… Would you like to come with me? Maybe?” She didn’t know if it was okay to ask this of him, but she knew deep down in her soul that he shouldn’t be alone.

 

He shrugged and took her offered hand. The moment her skin touched his she felt warm completion in her hand radiating up to her heart, filling its aching holes. She smiled warmly up at him and he answered with one of his small, achingly sweet smiles. She led him by the hand in hers towards the area she normally parked in. Thankfully, it wasn’t too far away. She wasn’t sure if Ben would have made it any further. She unlocked her car and gently pushed Ben in the opened passengers seat. She walked around her old junker car and quickly sat and buckled up. She glanced at her silent companion. His sharp profile was very grave. He stared straight ahead and made no acknowledgment of what had happened between the two of them. His red-rimmed eyes looked tired and worn out. He clenched and unclenched his fists unconsciously. He made no move to buckle his seatbelt. Rey sighed, not wanting to break the silence between them. Instead, she unbuckled before reaching across his tensed torso to grab the seatbelt and buckle him up herself. He didn’t look at her, his tensed jaw the only indication that he had noticed. Rey gently shook her head before re-strapping herself in and starting the car. She backed up and made her way to a small café at the edge of town. The ten-minute drive was tense in the quiet that bordered on uncomfortable. Rey knew that Ben was embarrassed with his break down in front of her and knew that if there was to be conversation, it had to be on his terms. She was content to wait for him to make the first move as she pulled into the nearly empty parking lot. She shut the engine off, before turning and looking at Ben. He was stubbornly looking out the window straight ahead. She shook her head, and left the car before walking around and opening the passenger side door. Ben didn’t acknowledge her. Rey huffed and held out her hand. Ben either did not see her or refused to notice. She rolled her eyes and stuck her head in the car and unbuckled him. She pulled her head out and held out her hand for him to take. He still refused to let her get him out of the car. Rey sighed, “Ben, please.”

 

He slowly turned his head towards her, but still refused to meet her eyes. He shook his head.

 

Her brow furrowed. She could sense his embarrassment and reluctance, but couldn’t understand what he was telling her. “Do you want to stay in the car while I get you something?”

 

His large, puppy eyes met hers. She smiled down at him. “Alright, I’ll be back in a minute.” She gently closed the door again before turning towards the café. The bell chimed, announcing her presence to anyone who cared. The small space was crowed with tables and chairs. Vases of flowers covered every available surface. There were three other customers in varying stages of work or drinking. A small woman with large glasses and a horrible orange spray tan stood behind the register. Her many bracelets clinked and tinkered with every exaggerated wave of her small hands. Spotting Rey in the doorway her eyes widened and a grin broke across her face.

 

“Rey! My darling! Come here and talk to Old Maz.”

 

Rey grinned back at her small friend. “Hey Maz.”

 

“What brings you my way, young one?” Her eyes narrowed, “And during school no less! Now it _must_ be something important.”

 

“Well…” Rey hesitated. She trusted Maz with her life, but this was not her secret to share. “Lets just say that a friend needed some help, and I thought what could help more than some of Maz’s world famous hot chocolate?”

 

Maz laughed loudly, causing the other patrons to glance over curiously. “Now, Rey, you know how to sweet talk Old Maz here.” Rey winked, before joining in Maz’s laughter. “I take it you need two large hot chocolates?”

 

Rey smiled, “That would be preferable.”

 

Maz shrugged and turned to create large hot chocolates topped with whip cream and chocolate syrup. Rey’s mouth watered. Maz had the absolute best hot chocolate for Rey’s notorious sweet tooth. Maz made her way back to Rey with her hands full and placed the drinks on the counter. “Two over-the-top sweet hot chocolates for Rey and her _friend_.” Maz winked at Rey’s blushing cheeks. “Now, next time you’ll have to tell me all about this special friend.” Rey nodded, still blushing, and reached for her wallet. Maz shook her head, “This one is on the house, darling.”

 

Rey smiled, “Thank you Maz, I won’t forget this!”

 

Maz returned her sweet smile and waved her out of the café. Rey cautiously made her way back to her car with her hands loaded with the two cups and a handful of napkins. She walked around to the passenger side and kicked the door to get Ben to help her with the drinks. Ben jumped at the loud sound, before bashfully opening the door for Rey. She smiled at him. “I hope you like hot chocolate, cause I got us each a large.” She handed him one of the cups with a quick, “Careful, it’s hot.” He tried to smile, but it came off as a grimace as he graciously took the drink and a few napkins from Rey. She then made her way back to the front seat. She situated herself and took a few tentative sips from her sugary concoction of chocolate and hazelnut. She sighed in pleasure. Ben looked over at her small sigh and laughed quietly. Surprised at the sound, Rey whipped her head over to him with her eyes large. He smiled softly at her before gesturing to her face. “You have whipped cream on your nose.” Her cheeks flamed with embarrassment. Before she could do anything about it, Ben reached over the space between them and softly, _oh so softly_ , brushed the white foam off of her nose. His cheeks and ears turned an adorable shade of dark pink. He quickly looked away from her wide eyes and cleared his throat. “Where to now?”

 

Rey quickly blinked away her surprise and cleared her throat. “Well, I could take us back to school, but it is practically over now, so I was going to head home.” She hesitated, “I could take you back, or take you to your house? I don’t know. Do you have a car that you need to get back to, or…?” She trailed off awkwardly.

 

He looked straight ahead as he answered her. “I don’t have a car, but you can drop me off at home, if you’d like.”

 

“Sure! Where do you live?”

 

“I’ll lead you there.”

 

“Alright.” Rey started her car and pulled out of the parking lot. The ride was silent outside of Ben’s quiet directions. Rey pulled into a large house with several trees separating the front yard from the back. She quietly parked her car in his large driveway. They sat in companionable silence for a few moments before Ben started to pack up his stuff to leave her car. Rey was desperate. She needed some acknowledgment of what had happened by the river. She couldn’t explain it, but she knew that Ben was hiding something from her. She knew that something major had to have happened to cause him to break so completely. She wanted to know, but she didn’t want to ask. His hand reached for the handle before Rey could think of something to say. “Wait!” Ben jumped at her shout and turned to look into her eyes. Rey took a deep breath, stealing her nerves. “Wouldyouliketogotothefootballgamewithme?”

 

“What?”

 

Rey fidgeted, “Um, you know, would you like to go to the, um, football game tonight with, um, well…me?” Ben’s eyes widened. Rey quickly backtracked, “I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I’m going by myself and I just thought it would be nice to have a friend with me, you know?” Ben’s breathing seemed to stop and his face was completely red. “Ben? Ben, are you okay?”

 

“YES!” Ben squeaked, “Yes, I would like to go with you.” His voice was airy and his face had the complexion of a ripe tomato.

 

“Really?! Okay! Um, I can pick you up, if you want. At seven?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, seven works.” Ben looked up at her and gave her a small, genuine smile.

 

Rey grinned down at her hands, blush taking over her face. “Alright, seven it is.”

 

“Seven it is.” Ben opened the door and got up and waved at her before disappearing into his giant house. Rey laughed out loud in the silence of her car. _Heck yeah!! I have a freaking date with Ben Freaking Solo!!_ She wiggled her butt in her seat and pumping her fist in the air as a small victory dance. She turned on the radio and blasted it out her open windows as she drove to her house, already planning the outfit she could wear for tonight.

 

***

 

Rey pulled into Ben’s driveway at 6:58, and debated whether or not to go to the front door when Ben popped out of the front door and walked to the car with his shoulders to his ears and his hands in his pocket. Rey had a nice view of him as he made his way to the passenger side door. He looked very nice with his black combat boots, staple black jeans, and a black leather jacket pulled over a white T-shirt. His hair looked freshly combed. Rey blushed, _Very nice, indeed_. Ben pulled open the door and slid into the seat and strapped in, before turning and looking at Rey. She looked down at her outfit. She had on brown combat boots, soft with use, skinny blue jeans, and a red flannel on top of a grey T-shirt. Her hair was down, out of her usual up-dos. She had minimal make-up that highlighted her large eyes and pouting lips. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

 

“You look nice.” His deep voice filled the small car they were in.

 

Rey blushed furiously. “Thank you. You look pretty nice yourself.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He blushed hard at her words and murmured a small _thanks_. Rey pulled out of his driveway and set off to the football stadium.

 

***

 

Rey and Ben made their way into the student section of the bleachers. They were a little late, and the student section was very crowded. They eventually found a place where they could sit, though they would most likely be standing the entire game. The environment invigorated Rey. She could feel her blood pumping in her ears as the team prepared to start. She turned to Ben and grinned into his slight grimace. The spot they were standing in caused them to stand close, given that Ben was so large. Their shoulders brushed every time one of them moved, and Rey could not be happier than she was at that moment. The noise enveloped them. The teams yelling on the field, the crazed fans cheering, and the band blasting the school fight song. Rey joined in the cheering at every pass and tackle. Ben kept quiet, simply watching the field and Rey’s excitement. At halftime the student section sat down to enjoy the cheerleaders and dance teams that would perform. Ben and the girls to Rey’s left sat down first, leaving her very little room to squeeze in. She sat down, not noticing, and landed on the outside of Ben’s thigh. She squeaked in embarrassment and hurriedly turned to apologize to him. He looked just as embarrassed as she did and quickly brushed off her apologies. He shifted a little ways away from her, trying to put some space between them, but the crowed space guaranteed that they were hip to hip. Rey could see the faint blush that grazed Ben’s cheekbones. _Though it could be that it’s getting a little chilly_ , Rey admitted to herself, rubbing her hands up and down her covered arms. Her flannel was really not warm. Ben noticed her movement and shifted a little closer to her, offering his body warm for her to use. She greedily took all that he offered her. She smiled up into his dark eyes. “So how are you enjoying the game, Ben?”

 

He shrugged, “The game is alright. It’s really the company I’m enjoying.” He blushed harder, though the smile never left his face.

 

Rey beamed. “I can’t complain about the company either.” She leaned more into his side, soaking up his offered warmth.

 

Ben smiled fondly at the top of her head. “What do you like about coming to these games?”

 

“Well, I like that people get tackled, I really do enjoy that. And Finn’s on the team.” Ben tensed next to her. Rey leaned more into him, reassuring him without words. “He was my first friend ever, and though we don’t really talk anymore, I feel like I should support him in all he does.” She made a face at the empty field. “I guess that’s what friends do.”

 

“What do you mean that you don’t really talk? I though you guys were inseparable.”

 

Ben’s concerned voice touched Rey. “I thought so, too, but now he’s on the football team, and ‘the team comes first, Rey’.” She air quoted with her fingers. “I suppose that you just have to move on sometimes, and this was the easiest way for him to move on from me. Now he has the team and _Poe_ ,” she spat it out like a dirty word, “and he doesn’t deign to walk in the same circles as me anymore.”

 

Ben’s eyes filled with compassion and concern at her resigned voice. “Rey. If I were ever lucky enough to be close to you, I would never look for a way to move on from you.”

 

She turned wide hazel eyes to his open, honest expression. Her eyes filled with tears. She grinned as wide as she could at his face before throwing her arms around him and whispering in his ear, “thank you, thank you”. One of his arms slowly rose up from where they were resting in his lap and placed it on her shoulder blade. She pulled away from him slowly. She looked into his impossibly kind eyes and knew those were the eyes she always wanted to find. Everyone around them stood up, leaving them in their tension filled bubble. Rey’s breath caught in her throat. She had no idea what they were doing, or what was going to happen. The tension broke with the loud cheer preceding the players onto the field. They quickly stood up, and Rey missed Ben’s body heat warming up her chilly arms. She looked at the players warming up and wrapped her arms around her body. She felt a weight on her shoulders and warmth envelop her. She glanced at her shoulders and saw black leather. She turned to Ben and saw that he was in only his white T-shirt. She smiled into the jacket letting Ben’s heat and scent surround her.

 

***

 

They walked back to Rey’s car in silence. Their school had won and the other students were yelling and running all around their quiet bubble. They both slipped into her car and followed the heavy traffic leaving the parking lot. The quiet was not uncomfortable between them. Rey just liked knowing that Ben was next to her, sitting in the same car, breathing the same air. She smiled and leaned over and flipped on the radio, letting soft jazzy music fill the air. Michael Buble’s soft voice floated in the space between them on the road leading to Ben’s house.  

 

_The heavens open every time she smiles_

_And when I come to her, that’s where I belong_

_I’m running to her like a river’s song._

 

Rey swayed with the romantic tune, singing softly with the familiar lyrics.

 

_She’s got a fine sense of humor when I’m feeling low down_

_And when I come to her when the sun goes down_

_Takes away my trouble, takes away my grief_

_Takes away my heartache in the night like a thief._

Rey glanced over to Ben to find him staring at her with a confused intensity. She stuttered on the lyrics before facing the road again.

 

_It’ll make me feel righteous, make me feel whole_

_Make me feel mellow down in my soul._

Rey pulled into Ben’s driveway as the last notes swirled in the air around them. She parked her car and turned to look into Ben’s intense eyes. “I like that song.” Ben whispered, surprising her.

 

She smiled softly at him. “Me too.”

 

He smiled back at her, matching her expression. “Thank you for taking me. I had…fun.”

 

“I’m glad. I had…fun, as well.” She smiled teasingly at him. He reached for the door to step out, but Rey stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Aren’t you going to let me walk you to the door?” She winked at him. _OH MY HECK! I JUST WINKED AT BEN SOLO! WHAT AM I DOING!?_

He looked at her, dumbfounded, before nodding. She smiled and climbed out of her seat, with Ben’s jacket still around her shoulders. She reached his side of the car just as he was scrambling out. She smiled and started to walk towards his door with Ben close to her side. They climbed the stairs together and paused right before the door. “Thank you, Ben, for such a great night.” She smiled genuinely up at his slightly shocked, but pleased face. “Oh! Let me give you your jacket!” She started to shake his jacket off of her shoulders, but his hands stopped her movements.

 

“No, no, no! Keep it. It suits you.” Ben’s face flushed at her upturned confused face.

 

“Ben,” Rey teased, “I can’t take your nice leather jacket. But if you had an old hoodie somewhere, I would gladly steal that. That means I can wear it more.” She winked at him, _again?!,_ before handing him his jacket and walking back to her car. She turned back around once she was half way down the entryway. “Bring it to class on Monday. Goodnight, Ben!” She laughed and ran the rest of the way to her car, leaving Ben shocked, with a small smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you guys think... The song that is quoted is Crazy Love sung by Michael Buble. It's a beautiful, romantic song and I would suggest listening to it. :) If any of you are interested, these are the outfits that I was thinking of when they went to the football game :) http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=215631148


	4. Talking is Messy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of our great "friends" makes a reappearance, Rey takes care of Ben, and Ben gets to take care of Rey. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I suck at updating... My ideas dried up for a while there, but here you go! Remember that quote that went something like "the only one who deserves you is the only one who thinks they don’t"? Ben's POV (IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GOING TO DIE)

Ben was shocked.  There were no other words for it.  Rey was genuinely interested in him.  The one who couldn’t offer her anything.  She was going to be the death of him.

 

***

 

Ben walked into the school, dragging his feet and burning a hole in the cement in front of his feet.  He wanted to burn a hole big enough and deep enough to jump in and never return.  He had done what Rey asked him to.  He had brought one of his older sweatshirts and kept it in his uncle’s car, much to the confusion of his ever-patient uncle.  He had no idea if she remembered or even if she would say anything about it.  He almost didn’t want her to, but the mental image her small frame swamped in one of his large sweatshirts made his heart squeeze.  He really wouldn’t mind seeing that.  _Maybe I could paint that…_

 

He made it to his designated classes on muscle memory, more than conscious memory. He tried not to panic.  There was plenty of time before art class started.  He just had to stop thinking about it.  _Everything is going to be just fine.  I just need to relax, that’s all._

 

Somehow he made it to lunch.  He sat at his usually isolated seat, still half in a daze.  He sat down before noticing there was someone else sitting at his table.  A bright smile met his dropped jaw.  Rey was sitting there, three buns as usual, bright green t-shirt and ripped jeans.  He looked down at his own grey sweater and black jean combo.  She was the brightness in his monochrome existence.  Then, of course, he had to open his big mouth.  “What are you doing here?”

 

Her smiled slipped, before brightening.  “I thought that I would join you for lunch today!  I usually either go home or sit in my car for lunch, but I saw you sitting here yesterday by yourself, so I figured I might as well join you.”

 

He stared dumbfounded.  She wanted to spend more time with him.  She noticed him.  No one noticed him as Ben Solo.  But she did.  He slowly smiled back at her.  She shifted closer to him and focused on her meager lunch.  She continued to shove the entire content of her lunch into her mouth in a nonstop motion.  Ben slowly picked through his home lunch, enjoying the peaceful quiet that sat between them, watching Rey eat with amusement.  

 

He opened his mouth to comment on her eating habits when a familiar voice chimed in behind him.

 

“Hello, Kylo.”  Ben felt his heart turn to ice.  His wide, mournful eyes slowly turned to Rey.  Her mouth was full of food as she looked between Ben and Snoke and his gang.  Her throat moved with her swallow.  She didn’t say anything, she just stared at Snoke.  Snoke looked down his crooked nose at her, sneering.  “What do you want, girl?”  His eyes brightened as Ben snarled at him.  “Is this your little girlfriend?  Did your mommy pay for her to be nice to you?  Huh?  You can’t get a girlfriend so your mommy choose one for you?”   

 

“Shut up, Snoke.  You don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Ben’s eyes were narrowed dangerously.  His usually gangly body was tensed and poised like a leopard about to spring.  His lips were curled back in anger and disgust.  His large, stained hands curled into fists.  Snoke’s face didn’t change from the casually amused visage it had taken since he had goaded a reaction out of him.  

 

“Awe, did I hit a nerve?  I don’t think little Kylo Ren here likes us to talk to his little girlfriend.”  He smiled disgustingly sweet in Rey’s direction over Ben’s shoulder.  “You know girl, we could show you a better time than this loser can.”

 

Ben heard Rey huff a laugh of contempt, before responding.  “I think I’ll stick with the loser.”  He felt a twitch of amusement at her response before turning his entire attention to Snoke to read his reaction.  Snoke did not like being denied, and Ben was ready for any of his responses.  

 

Snoke snorted.  “You have no idea what you’re giving up here.  I can offer you something that no one else can.  And what can Kylo Ren give you?  A dark, disappointing painting?  Hasn’t he told you yet?  He’s a disappointment.  Just ask his father.  Oh wait!  You can’t.  And you know why?  Because—“

 

“SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!”  Ben’s scream hung in every corner of the cafeteria.  His arms were shaking from the strain of not hurting Snoke, goonies or not.  His eyesight had gone red around the edges.  He got up and started walking towards Snoke and his sneering, unconcerned face.  He took two steps before two small hands were wrapped around his bicep, tugging him back.  He turned his head looking down into Rey’s wide, concerned eyes.  He relaxed his fists, and looked at nothing, allowing Rey to lead him away.  They were almost to the door when Rey ran back to where Snoke was standing.  Ben felt sick.  _She’s going to choose him, because no one chooses Ben Solo.  And what CAN I offer her?_ He tried to look away from her small figure, but found his eyes glued to her retreating back.  The closer she got to Snoke, the larger the smirk on Snoke’s face grew.  She stopped in front of him, back to Ben.  Snoke’s distorted face was filled with dark pleasure at stealing yet another thing from Ben Solo.  Ben blinked and Snoke was on the ground with Rey sprinting back to his side and dragging him out of the school towards her car in the parking lot.  She let go of his arm only to push him towards the passenger side door and yelling a quick “ _get in!_ ”  She threw on her seatbelt and checked to make sure Ben was throwing his on, before peeling out of the parking lot with a devil-may-care smile out of the open window.  She tore through the streets towards a dusty side road.  A cloud of dust followed her beater car.  The sun shone through the windshield highlighting the particles of dust flowing in and out of the open windows.  The wind rushed in and played with Rey and Ben’s hair, lifting it up and throwing it back down.  Music blasted the small space and competed with the wind for the dominant voice.  A field stretched for miles, with no one else around before Rey slowed down.  She reached for the radio and turned it down.  Ben could only stare at her in mild shock.  

 

“I punched Snoke.”  Rey broke the silence, triumphant.  “In the face.”  Her smile grew and took Ben’s breath away.  Her brow furrowed and her smile dropped a little.  His heart clenched to see some of her happiness slip away.  “Sorry I kidnapped you.  I just couldn’t stay there, you know?”

 

Ben laughed a little at her wording.  “You didn’t kidnap me,” he rumbled, “I would have gone anywhere with you.”  His ears burned with the admission, but he didn’t take back the truth he had spoken.  Wherever she decided to lead them, he’d gladly follow.  _Her smile could rival the sun._ He blushed harder at the thought as he looked at her smile.  He gifted her with one of his small smiles before quickly turning towards the window to take in the view.  

 

Rey pulled off at a large tree.  The grass was long, but soft and there was a rickety swing hanging from the largest branch.  Rey parked her beloved, beaten car unbuckled, stepped out and walked to the swing.  Ben watched as she lovingly brushed her fingertips on the worn rope holding the swing up.  She slowly stepped around the swing and grabbed both ropes and turned her expecting eyes to where he still sat in her car.  

 

Looking at her now, only them, in the middle of nowhere, he couldn’t think of anywhere he’d rather be.  He shook his head at her overly pleading expression, and got out of the car and slowly walked to where she was standing.  

 

She grinned up at him, causing his heart to do somersaults in his chest.  He lifted his hands and placed them above hers on the hanging ropes.  His breath caught in his chest seeing her look up into his eyes with emotion.  His eyes were soft and affectionate looking down at the slip of a girl that had rescued him twice.  He wanted to say something, anything, his mind offering the blank whiteness, much to his dissapointment.  He was content to drown in Rey’s twinkling hazel eyes.  He could see some of his soul in those wide, soft eyes.  He smiled softly into her open face.  Her eyes dropped to her feet with a little color across the bridge of her nose, highlighting her freckles.  He loved her freckles.  _She’s a hurricane.  Calm in the center, but causes chaos all around her._   She tossed his world on its side, and he didn’t want it any other way.  

 

She looked back up into his face, her eyes questioning.  He cocked his head to the side, not understanding what she was trying to say with her eyes.  She looked at their hands, inches apart.  She slowly travelled one of her hands higher, rising towards his gripping the rope like a lifeline.  He relaxed his hold and watched as her small hand hovered centimeters away from his large hand.  Not looking away from the rope and their hands, he let his hand drop the few centimeters and his hand encased hers still holding onto the rope.  He could feel her eyes on his face, but he was lost in the feeling of how tiny and fragile her hand felt underneath his own.  This hand dropped one of the most vile people he ever had the misfortune of knowing.  He gently pulled her hand off the rope and held her small hand palm up to examine the fine lines and smudge marks left from her pens.  He pulled her hand closer to his face to better see every detail.  Rey winced as she tried to pull away from his grip.  He looked into her face with concern.  He took her one small hand in both of his, leaving her other hand to grip the rope by itself.  He turned the precious hand to look at the split knuckles, bleeding slightly now that he had disturbed the skin.

 

“ _Rey_ …” He whispered her name like a prayer, a plea.  He sat her down on the rickety swing and went to her car to find a first-aide kit.  He returned with Band-Aids and a water bottle.  He kneeled in front of her, gently pulling her bleeding hand away from her body.  He poured some of the water over the cuts, cleaning them as best as he could.  He placed the Band-Aids as gently as he could over her still bleeding knuckles.  Instinctively he kissed her bandaged hand before placing it back in her lap.  He quickly retreated to her car before he could see her reaction.  Besides, he had a promise to keep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see any issues with this, please let me know. As always, comments are greatly appreciated! Thank you to all who have read and kudoed and commented, you guys are the reason this thing is still being written!


	5. Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is continued directly from the last chapter. 
> 
> Rey's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like it!! As always, your kudos and comments are very appreciated!! I live for them!! I really wanted to get this done by Valentine's Day, but.... stuff.... But it will be out by my birthday on Sunday :)

Rey stared at Ben’s retreating back.  _He took care of me.  No one has taken care of me for as long as I can remember…_ Her heart was pounding against her ribcage, demanding to be let out of her chest.  The warmth from Ben’s kiss still lingered on her hand.  She used her other hand to cup the spot, keeping the warmth a little longer.  If she thought she liked him before, she was eons beyond that.  She had never experienced such an all-encompassing emotion like this before.  She felt light as a feather, but grounded.  Her eyes were full of stars, but she could feel the sun on her skin.  Her fingers buzzed with energy, but her feet were sluggish.  She never wanted to leave Ben, but also never wanted to see him again.  She wasn’t sure how she was going to deal with him once he came back.

 

He eventually did came back with some kind of fabric bunched in his hand.  She watched him curiously as he came closer.  He stopped shyly a few feet away from where she was sitting.  He looked down at his feet before quietly saying, “Remember what you asked me on Friday?”

 

Rey slowly grinned, understanding where this was going.  “Yeah, I remember.”

 

He extended the fabric to her.  She slowly stood up and walked towards his extended hand.  “I promise it’s really old.  It’s been laying around forever.”  She smiled up at him and took the worn black hoodie (because what other color would he have?) and hugged it to her chest.  She lifted it up to her face and took a deep breath through her nose.  It had the spicy, manly scent she thought as Ben.  She looked up into Ben’s wide, anxious eyes and grinned.

 

“Thank you Ben.  I’ll wear it all the time.”  Ben grinned down at her.  Her stomach filled with butterflies.  “We could lay down.  The grass is really soft, and it’s a beautiful day.”  Rey suggested, not looking at Ben’s face.

 

“That sounds good to me.”

 

Rey smiled, looking down and quickly finding a comfortable spot in the shade.  She laid down, looking up into the tree branches overhead, crisscrossing shadows and light playing together in a melodic symphony of nature.  She felt Ben settle in next to her in the tall grass gently moving in the light breeze.  Rey heard Ben sigh as he relaxed into the soft covering of grass.  His hand rested near hers.  She turned her head to look at his relaxed face and closed eyes.  Rey wanted to talk about Snoke, but she didn’t want to break this peace that had settled between them.  

 

“Ben?”  She whispered, barely louder than the rustling of grass and leaves.  He grunted, not moving in response.  “I know you might not want to talk about it, but I really want to know…” She continued quietly.

 

He turned his head in full attention to her now.  He didn’t say anything, just looked deeply into her eyes.  They stared at each other for several long moments, before Ben sighed and turned to look back at the sky.  “His real name is Ebenezer.  Ebenezer Snoke.  He’s a few years older than we are.  He got held back a couple of grades.  His and my families have been mutual acquaintances since I was a child.  My mother is a politician and so is Snoke’s father.  We’ve had barbeques together, gone to political campaigns together, and things like that.  When the world found out about my mom’s real dad, things got ugly between our families.  Snoke’s father convinced him that I was something less than dirt.  He’s been tormenting me since.  And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

 

Rey turned onto her side, looking at Ben’s profile.  His jaw was clenched, hands in fists to his sides.  She reached out to his arm lying by his side.  She gently brushed his covered arm, trying to comfort him with her small touches.  Ben continued to look up even as she pushed up the sleeve of his sweater to touch the skin on his forearm.  She trailed her fingers up and down his tensed muscles underneath the soft, pale skin of the inside of his elbow.  His jaw slowly became unclenched and his eyes fluttered closed under her ministrations.  “I’m sorry, Ben.”  Her voice was quiet, sad, but not pitying.  

 

Ben sighed and turned his hand so it was palm up, offering it to her silently.  Her hand slowly traced the veins leading down to his hand, gripping his hand in hers.  He gripped her hand hard enough to leave marks on her skin. 

 

It was getting late in the afternoon.  School had finished long before.  Rey knew she had to go home soon, and she was sure Ben needed to leave soon too.  She wanted to stay by him for as long as he needed her too, but he was silent again.  

 

“Ben?”

 

“Yeah?”  His voice was hoarse, but it was his beautiful, deep voice.  

 

She smiled sweetly at him.  “Ben, we have to leave soon.  I’m sure you need to get home soon.”

 

Ben sighed and threw his other arm across his eyes.  “Can we just stay a little longer?”  He asked quietly.  

 

“Of course we can.  We’ll leave whenever you’re ready.”  She squeezed his hand.  He gently squeezed hers back.

 

They lay in the flowing grass, surrounded by light and shade, open space, and the soft sighs of the breeze.  The quiet peace filled their little bubble.  Rey was more content in that moment than she had ever been in her entire life.  She could hardly believe that this was happening between Ben and her.  Ben was the kind of person you dreamed about having, not the kind that allows you to see them break down and then lets you put them back together.  A soft melody drifted through her mind.  The familiar tune danced with the wind, and Rey started to hum along.  Soon, humming wasn’t enough and she quietly started to sing in a clear voice.

 

_Shall I stay?_

_Would it be a sin_

_If I can’t help falling in love with you?_

 

Ben’s arm slid off of his face to rest on his chest.  Rey looked up to the sky and continued a little louder.

 

_Like a river flows_

_Surely to the sea_

_Darling, so it goes_

_Some things are meant to be_

 

Ben’s hand tightened around hers.  The notes hung in the sweeping breeze, holding the song in their intimate circle.  Rey’s eyes closed as she sang louder.

 

_Take my hand,_

_Take my whole life, too_

_For I can’t help falling in love with you._

 

The last note held in the air before being carried off across the field.  Rey turned towards Ben.  He was looking deeply into her eyes.  They blazed with strong affection.  His pink lips were slightly parted, his breath fanning on Rey’s face.  They were quiet, just staring at each other.  Lost in the other’s eyes.  Rey blinked and turned her face away, breaking the moment.  She was nervous.  She wasn’t sure what was going on, but she knew that she wasn’t ready for it in this moment.  It was too much, too fast.  She sat up, still holding onto Ben’s hand.

 

“Are you ready now?”

 

Ben sat up slower to face her, cradling her hand like something to be treasured.  

 

“Rey?”

 

She turned and looked into his burning eyes, hair messy with grass sticking out of it.  He couldn’t look more beautiful to her than he did now.  

 

“Yeah, Ben?”

 

He used his other hand to nervously run through his raven locks, mussing it even more.  “Uh… Well… Rey. There’s been something I’ve been meaning to ask you…”

 

Rey didn’t want to have to deal with what he was going to say next.  “We have to go!”  She jumped up, breaking their handhold and practically sprinting to her car, leaving Ben dumbfounded, looking at the hand that she had dropped.  Rey saw him eventually look up from her safe haven in her car.  His shoulders slumped and he stood up like it hurt to move and shuffled to the passenger side door with his eyes on the ground and hands in his pockets.  He strapped in and continued to look down, not saying a word to Rey.  When the click of his seatbelt echoed in her silent car, she started the engine and made her way to Ben’s house.

 

***

 

The ride back was tense and awkward.  They never spoke a word to each other, just stared out of their respective windows.  Rey pulled into Ben’s driveway and parked her car.  They sat in silence for a few moments, neither one of them moving.  Rey sighed and looked at Ben staring straight ahead with his jaw clenched.  The muscles twitched under the strain.  _What am I doing?  He opened up to me and what do I do?  I push him away…_

 

“Ben?”  He didn’t respond, but Rey pushed forwards anyway.  “I’m sorry, Ben.  Please forgive me.  I got scared.  I-I…”

 

 Her broken stumbling apology stopped when Ben’s hand rested on her forearm.  She turned her head to look into his deep, sad brown eyes.  He smiled, a little brokenly, at her.  “It’s really okay, Rey.  I can understand.”  

 

She looked mournfully up at him through her eyelashes.  “I really am sorry, Ben.  I wish I could go with this at your pace, but I think I need things to go slow.”  Ben was still looking at her like she was the only thing in the entire world.  “But I do care about you!”  Ben looked surprised at her admission.  Frankly she was surprised she said it as well.  

 

His smile grew a little more self-assured.  “Well, I care about you, too, Rey.”  He cocked his head to the side, and Rey felt herself mimicking his movement.  They shared a quiet laugh.  “I was just going to ask you if you wanted to come and see some of the artwork at the new exhibit next week.  I really would appreciate your feedback.”  

 

Rey scrutinized his face, seeing the light blush across his high cheekbones.  She could see the honesty shining out of his eyes.  _Why not?  I mean, he is inviting me somewhere!_

 

She smiled brightly, will all of her teeth.  Her eyes crinkled.  Ben stared at her.  Rey could feel her heart pounding as she reached across the car to grab his arm.  “Awe, Ben!  Are you inviting me on a date?”   She said, cheekily.

 

His blush was getting redder by the second, and Rey was loving every moment of it. 

 

“Uh… I guess I am?  I mean, I’d really like it if you could come as… Well, as my… date?”

 

Rey was pretty sure she had just died and went to heaven.  This was the source of at least three dreams and countless daydreams starring Ben Solo.  

 

“Of course, I’ll be your date!  I’d be honored.”  She shyly looked down, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks.  “But I guess I would need your number so that I can get all the info later.”

 

Ben grinned at her, and handed her his phone for her to put her number in.  She quickly made a new contact, and after a short deliberation, simply put her name in as Rey and handed it back.  Their fingers made small, but potent contact, before Ben smiled and climbed out of her car to head back inside.  He waved from the doorway, and Rey mirrored him and made her way home.  A few minutes after leaving she received a text message.  The unknown number had simply said:

 

**Thank you.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song was Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley. One of my ultimate favorites :)
> 
> I have a tumblr!! Please feel free to stop and talk...if you want to, of course! It's https://www.tumblr.com/blog/roamingaustenites (hopefully that link works..)


	6. The Art Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben takes Rey to his art exhibit, but, as always, life gets in the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so so sorry this took me so long! I ran out of inspiration for a while, and then got distracted, but here it is! I hope you guys like it!!

_I just freaking asked Rey on a freaking date!_ Ben was freaking out. And that was putting it nicely. He had a few new paintings that he wanted to add to his exhibit. He needed to finish them first.

 

***

 

Ben was pacing his uncle’s classroom. Back and forth, back and forth. His paintbrush was held tightly in his fist, dripping paint with each of his turns. His mouth turned down into a scowl as he saw the unfinished painting in front of him. He couldn’t find the pain and anger to finish the black and grey goliath. Ben slowed his steps and sighed, before pulling out a smaller, brighter painting. He smiled fondly at the canvas, and started to add a few more strokes.

 

***

 

Ben was nervously gripping his phone, constantly locking and unlocking the home screen. He desperately wanted to talk to Rey, but he didn’t want to seem desperate. She hadn’t answered his first text, so he didn’t want to text her again only to have her ignore him again. He switched his grip from one hand to the other. _Fiiinnneeee, I’ll do it!!_ He typed in a small _hey_ , and stared at his screen for another five minutes before finally sending it with a shaking finger.

 

Minutes passed and he finally threw his phone onto his bed where he couldn’t see it. He sat down at his desk trying to get some much-needed homework done. He finally had his mind set on the project when a loud chime interrupted his concentration. He jumped out of his seat, spraying papers and pens across the room. He jumped on his phone, flipping it around so fast to look at who had texted him. It was a text from his mom. He groaned in disappointment and threw his phone back down on the bed. Before he could get back up his phone chimed again. He cautiously reached across his bed and pulled his phone closer. He closed his eyes and let out a long breath. He turned the screen over and saw a short text from Rey.

 

**_Hi :)_ **

Ben giggled. He _giggled._ He felt the happiness constrict his chest, causing his hands to shake as he tried to type out a response.

 

**how has your weekend been?**

****

_Oh gosh, I answered too fast didn’t I?! She’s never going to talk to me again! I ruined it…_

A few seconds later he got a response.

 

**_It’s been good! I have done absolutely nothing besides eat and watch Netflix ;)_ **

Ben let out a short laugh.

 

**lucky! i have just been working on homework all weekend**

**_Nerd_ **

****

**i’ll have you know that i have fantastic grades**

Rey texted him for the rest of the night, leaving Ben’s homework abandoned and unfinished.

 

***

 

Ben realized they had settled into a routine. Rey would find him at lunch and sit with him. They would eat, have nice conversations, and then leave before meeting up at art class and picking up the conversation that had been left at lunch. They talked about everything together, except for their upcoming date, much to Ben’s disappointment. Rey was steadily improving in her art, constantly showing him what she had done and asking his opinion. He smiled and felt flattered that his opinion had so much sway on her. It was intoxicating, really. Ben still felt too shy to show Rey what he was working on. It was way too special for her to see it unfinished. Rey seemed a bit put out by this, but Ben tried not to let that get to him just yet. It was the day for their date and Ben was finally finished with his project. He felt full in a way he had never felt before. Rey was eyeing him the whole class period, but Ben patiently waited for her to leave.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then? Eight o’clock?” Rey was staring at his face intently.

 

Ben felt himself smiling at Rey’s intense expression. “Of course, I can’t wait.”

 

“What should I wear?” Rey toyed with the edge of her lose t-shirt.

 

“A dress? Or a skirt? Nothing too fancy, just something…” Ben tore through his mind looking for the right word. Finally he settled on, “nice.”

 

Rey shrugged, “Alright, I might find a decent dress. See ya tomorrow, Ben!” With a smile and a wave, Rey was gone.

 

Ben smiled at where she had disappeared for a while before glancing around his uncle’s classroom. It was empty. He grabbed his finished piece and walked up to his uncle who was near the front, focused on his own painting of an island in the middle of a restless ocean.

 

“Luke, I think I finally finished this.” Ben handed his painting over to his uncle’s outstretched hand.

 

The painting was a smaller piece and fit easily in Luke’s hand. Luke examined the painting closely. He turned it from side to side and alternately holding it close and then far from his face. At one point, Luke put his ear against the painting. Ben sighed at his uncle’s antics. He had seen all of them before and they both amused and annoyed him. By the time that Luke had finished his examination of Ben’s painting, Ben was getting a phone call. No one called Ben except Luke and he was standing in front of him. Ben quickly pulled out his phone and frowned at the screen. It was Rey.

 

“Hello?”

 

_“Ben?”_

“Rey?” Ben could hear her sniffing on the other end. “Are you crying?”

 

Rey made a small chocking sound before replying. _“Where are you?”_

“I’m still with my uncle. Are you okay?”

 

_“Can we talk?”_

“Of course! Do you want me to meet you somewhere?” Rey was silent. “Rey, where are you?” Ben couldn’t hear properly, because Rey started to sob into the phone. He thought he heard her say something like the parking lot. “Alright, I am going to go to the parking lot and find you, okay? Just stay there. It will all be alright, okay. Just stay on the phone, okay Rey?” Ben quickly glanced at his uncle who mouthed _go,_ before Ben started sprinting towards the parking lot where Rey usually parked her car, continuing to mumble comforting words to the still sobbing Rey on the phone. School had been over for a while now, and no other cars were in the parking lot besides Rey’s. Ben could see Rey crouched beside her car, hugging her knees with one arm and clutching her phone to her ear with the other. Ben ran as quickly as he could, dropping everything he had to throw his arms around Rey. Rey shifted, so that she could throw her arms around his neck and sob into his neck. Ben gently rocked her and whispered in her ear, rubbing one hand up and down her back to soothe her. After what felt like a lifetime of Rey’s sobs, her tears slowly subsided. She kept her head tucked under his chin even as her breathing evened out.

 

“Rey?” Ben could feel Rey jump at the sound. “What happened?”

 

Rey sighed deeply and pulled her head up to look into his eyes. She wiped her still dripping nose and sniffed before she tried to answer, voice still hoarse from her endless sobs. “F-F-Finn s-saw me-e walk-ing to m-my car-r,” she drew in a sharp breath, eyes filling with more tears, “an-nd he corn-cornered me and told me-e that, that, that…” She burst into tears again.

 

Ben felt his heart break looking at the tears spilling over her cheeks. He reached up one hand and began wiping the tears away, pulling her closer, so she could rest her forehead on his. “You don’t have to tell me, I can just be here for you.” The words were meant to comfort, but they seemed to make Rey cry even harder. She put her arms back around his neck, settling her head on his shoulder. He tightened his grip around her, trying to comfort her in any way he could. He could feel a damp spot on his shoulder form from her sobs. Rey tightened her arms in response, pulling herself almost into his lap. Ben brought a shaky hand up to her hair to run his fingers through her silky strands. Rey shuddered against him and brought one of her own hands up to ran through his hair. Ben sighed. He didn’t want to move from this spot for the rest of his life. Rey eventually pulled back and took a deep breath.

 

“Alright, I think I can tell you now. You deserve to know.” She offered him a weak smile. “Finn told me to stay away from you. He said… He said you would hurt me…” Rey whispered, keeping her down, refusing to meet his eyes.

 

Ben pulled back, confused. “Why would he say that?”

 

Rey pulled away from him to start pacing in front of him. Her hands clenched into fists. “He abandoned me! He told me ‘ _the team comes first, Rey. I can’t hold your hand through high school. The team needs me Rey.’_ Do you know what he meant?!” Rey was shouting now and Ben quickly shook his head, trying to be a good audience, even though he was very confused. “When he was saying _‘the team’_ he meant _Poe._ He was abandoning _me,_ his _best friend_ for his _entire life,_ for someone he had known for _a year!”_

 

Fury was shaking Rey’s shoulders. Ben watched in awe as she continued to pace off her frustrations. “I can’t believe that anyone would give up your friendship. I know we haven’t been friends very long,” Rey seemed to wilt a little at his words, before Ben pressed on, “but I don’t anything could convince me to stop being your friend.” Ben heard Rey’s sharp intake of breath at his words. He smiled up at her bewildered face. Ben couldn’t understand why she was so shocked to know how much she meant to him. She had to know by now.

 

Rey’s eyes started to shine again and Ben was worried she was going to cry again. She had already cried enough today. Instead she threw her arms around him with enough force to almost push him completely over. She squeezed as hard as she could and Ben reciprocated, burying his head in the crook between her neck and shoulder. Rey pulled away enough to look Ben in the eye. He pulled her arms away from him and gripped his face in between her small hands. Ben couldn’t look away from the determined look in her eyes. His gaze switched from one eye to the other, trying to figure out what she was going to do.

 

“Thank you, Ben.” Rey whispered through her small smile.

 

Ben gifted her with one of his crooked smile. “Anytime, Rey.”

 

Rey hugged him close again. Ben sighed. This was everything he had ever wanted. He could only hope this is what she wanted too.

 

***

 

Ben sucked in a deep breath, adjusting his button-up shirt, messing with his hair one more time, before forcing himself out of the car and up Rey’s driveway. This was the big date. Ben had everything planned. He hoped and prayed Rey would have a good time. He stopped at the door, heart trying to escape his ribcage. He shuffled his feet once, squared his shoulders, and knocked on the door, twice. Rey pulled open the door and Ben’s breath refused to move out of his lungs. _She’s gorgeous._ Rey was dressed in a simple navy blue dress with a white floral pattern and brown wedges that brought her closer to his height. To top the look off, her hair was down and eyes dark with make-up. Ben had never seen Rey look like this. She was still Rey, but she seemed more sophisticated, like he had just caught a rare glimpse at another part of her that she rarely let others see.

 

Rey was smiling at him as he recovered from his initial shock. “You look amazing, Rey.”

 

Her smile grew even bigger. “Thank you, Ben. You look really nice, too.”

 

Ben looked down at his simple black button-up, black slacks, and slightly nicer black shoes. He shrugged as Rey watched him. “You ready?”

 

“Yeah! Lets go.” Rey brushed past him and he caught a whiff of her floral perfume. She was going to be the death of him. They walked to his car and opened the passenger side from her, allowing her to settle in before he closed the door again. He quickly jumped into the driver’s side and pulled out of her driveway. He let his phone play whatever song was on next. Rey sat next to him, seemingly comfortable to drive in silence with the music on. Frank Sinatra crooned softly from the speakers filling the comfortable space between them. Ben let the words to escape him before a certain set of lyrics made his eyes snap towards Rey.

 

_You’re just too good to be true_

_Can’t take my eyes off of you_

_Pardon the way that I stare_

Ben shifted in his seat, snapping his eyes back on the road.

 

_There’s nothing else to compare_

_The sight of you leaves me weak_

_There are no words left to speak_

Ben flicked his eyes over to Rey to see her staring intently at him.

 

_But if you feel like I feel_

_Please let me know that it’s real_

Ben’s eyes locked onto Rey’s, her hazel depths intoxicating. _Rey. Can’t you see me? Don’t you understand? Please understand._ Ben snapped his eye back on the road, refusing to dwell on what he was sure was an impossibility.

 

_I love you baby, trust in me when I say okay_

_Oh pretty baby, don’t let me down, I pray_

_Oh pretty baby, now that I’ve found you, stay_

_And let me love you, oh baby, let me love you, oh baby…_

Ben felt his throat locking up. He knew exactly how he felt about Rey. He could only pray she would feel half as much as he did.

 

 

***

 

They arrived at the exhibit later than Ben was hoping. He had to rush Rey tottering on her heels into the crowd, surrounding his new artwork. He sighed. He couldn’t understand why anyone would want to see any of his artwork, let alone pay to see any new paintings he had finished. He turned to Rey, who was taking in the massive room full of colorful people, and pulled her in for a quick hug. She pulled back and looked up at him in surprise.

 

“I have to give a short speech to these people. I was hoping to get a little confidence from you…” Ben ducked his head, embarrassed at his impulsiveness.

 

Rey smiled at him. “You’ll do great. I know you will.” She stepped closer to him and placed a small kiss on his cheek. Ben could feel his face burn. “For luck.” Rey ducked her head, hiding from Ben’s eyes.

 

Ben touched the place where her soft lips had just touched and looked at Rey in shocked reverence. He could still feel the tingle of her lips against his cheek as he gave a speedy thank you and welcome. As soon as he could he went back to Rey’s side.

 

“I have something I want to show you.”

 

Rey smiled at him and offered him her hand. Ben felt his heart squeeze in affection towards her. He gripped her small hand, allowing her to lace their fingers together. Ben was in heaven as he led Rey to the furthest corner of the exhibit. Hanging on the wall was a small painting. It was different from all the other paintings Ben had put in this exhibit. It was full of light colors: greens, yellows, blues, and pinks. The feeling was of peaceful contentment. It was abstract, as was he usual, but conveyed the feeling of peace, instead of conflict.

 

Rey gasped as she saw it. “This is beautiful, Ben.”

 

“I painted it the day after we spent the afternoon in the fields.” He smiled at Rey’s wide eyes. “That was the day…” He blushed and refused to go on.

 

“The day what?” Ben refused to answer her. “Ben?”

 

Ben cleared his throat. He could feel his face and ears burning, and Rey’s curious gaze on his face and rising color. “Well…” Ben dropped his voice to a whisper. “The day I decided you were the only one who made me…happy…”

 

Rey was silent for so long that Ben began to be concerned. She was standing, staring, tears forming in her eyes. Ben’s heart broke to see her cry, but he didn’t understand why she was. “I make you happy, Ben?”

 

Ben raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Happier than I’ve ever been in my life.” Ben answered honestly.

 

“Ben…” Rey whispered, gently. “You make me happy too.”

 

Ben’s heart skipped a few beats. His world narrowed to just the small girl in front of him. He had contented with himself that she was his happiness, and that she might not understand or reciprocate those feelings. To hear her say she felt the same nearly broke Ben in half. He was overwhelmed with the happiness of a lost soul finally finding their soulmate. He reached up to cup her face in between his hands, gently, as though she was valuable and breakable. He knew she wasn’t breakable, but he was. He leaned down, thankful for her heels, and placed his forehead on hers.

 

“Ben…” Rey whispered across his mouth. She leaned forwards and gently brushed her lips against his.

 

Ben felt himself break. This feeling of pure joy would break him, fix him, find him, and lose him. He gently pressed his lips against hers one more time before pulling back to look into her eyes. He could see the affection in his eyes reflecting out of hers. How he came to deserve her, he would never know, but one thing was certain: he would never leave her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your support. This fic never would have happened if it wasn't for you guys. I'm sorry if the kiss scene is bad, I've only been kissed once and the guy told me I was a bad kisser... so...
> 
> The song is Can't Take My Eyes off of You by Frank Sinatra :)
> 
> Also, here is a link if you want to see the outfits I was thinking of!  
> http://www.polyvore.com/chapter_outfits/set?id=218918548


End file.
